Draft of the Week, #5.

To file under “new and different”: recent weeks have seen a large number of folks visit this blog in search of the voice of the talking pothole in what I guess must be the latest Geico commercial.  I would check YouTube, but video and audio don’t play nicely together with my internet connection.  Has anybody seen this commercial?  I’m expecting it to be something special, considering how many people are Googling it.

This week’s poem below — it’ll probably stay up until Sunday or thereabouts:

{poof!}

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8 thoughts on “Draft of the Week, #5.

  1. GOD, a gorgeous poem! Just the phrase “new grief” is enough to send me shivering!

    I haven’t seen said commercial, and this makes me very sad.

  2. I really like this poem, Marie. But I have a silly little objection to it… the fact that the second stanza is only two lines bothers me. I’m not sure if it’s just a matter of balance, because indeed, those two lines, as written, are significant, and should be set off. But all the other stanzas are 3 lines, and I guess I prefer the consistency. But that’s all just a tiny quibble.

    I love your poems.

  3. Thank you, Emma, very much! I’m so glad you highlighted that particular bit — it went through a few incarnations. However — re: Geico — I depend on you for this sort of thing — you must let me know if you do see it. I have a hard time imagining anything that beats the awesomeness of the Gecko.

    JC — not silly at all! My process is slow, full of line by line revisions, and this 2-liner bothered me, too, and it happened rather late in the writing. But, although I have made a couple small (vital) changes since I posted this, that stanza remains stubbornly itself. We’ll see how it ages. Thank you, for sharing your objection. It helps. And thank you for liking the poem anyway!

  4. lol: I’m another who wandered here in search of the “talking pothole” voice in the Geico commercial.

    For anyone who hasn’t seen the commercial, it’s posted on YouTube at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ceRtrYqfwg.

    It’s silly but HILARIOUS.

    Once you see it, you’ll know why everyone is trying to figure out who the “pothole voice” is (I’ve heard everything from Annie Potts to Kelli Pickler to Reese Witherspoon – some even think it’s Britney Spears.)

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